Walter in Wonderland
by Baron Zemo
Summary: Rorschach is dead... But fate is not done with him... "Death is just the Beginning."
1. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Disclaimer(s): _Watchmen_ and _Avatar: The Legend of Aang_ belonged to their own respective Gods… I mean creators… they do not belong to me. No infringement is intended.

Then

Cold…  
Should have taken Dreiberg's snorkel parka… Antartica is the southernmost land mass on Earth, covering the South Pole. Perpetually a region of cold temperatures and almost completely covered by snow and ice, no wonder Archie the OwlShip broke down and crashed due to the unbearably cold temperatures of Antarctica.…  
"Hurm." I made an annoyed grunt… ignoring the merciless bone-chilling storm, I went towards Dreiberg's hover-bike… must get out of here… tell everyone nothing but the truth… the whole truth… Doesn't matter about the consequences… doesn't matter about the whole damn utopia… This country… this nation… this WHOLE WORLD… all life is about one absolute thing_: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe in, no matter the odds and/or the consequences…_ and right now… I believe that Veidt is EVIL… and evil must be punished and truth must be told.

I have to get back to the world… out of Karnak… out of icy hell Cocytus, to warn them… Get out of here… quickly… quietly… before…  
"Where are you going, Rorschach?"  
Speak of the Devil…  
…Blue Devil…

I turned around and faced my would-be-Grim-Reaper…: Jon Osterman… Doctor Manhattan… the Living God…

"Why do you ask question which you already know the answer to?"  
"Rorschach…" Jon began but I interjected… "Hurm… Evil must be punished; people must be told… a while ago you almost killed Veidt… but _almost only really counts in horseshoes and hand grenades_, Jon. I will do the latter (people must be told), you'll finish what you started (Evil/ Veidt must be punished)…" I started to turn back and head back to the hover-back, only to face Manhattan who had teleported right in front of me…  
"You know I can't let you do that," Osterman had pointed his four fingertips towards me… glowing with blue light menacingly… "Huhhh." Sighing nonchalantly… I took off my face… revealing my mask… The little blue freak may kill the red-headed ugly sonnuvagun Walter Kovacs… but he will not kill _me_…"Of course. Must protect Veidt's new utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well? What are you waiting for? Do it." My body shivered, fear of death engulfed my soul… but then I realised… I died the day that little girl, Blair Roche, butchered to death…  
"Rorschach…" Osterman gave me one last chance… a futile effort; nobody except Dreiberg knew how adamant I could be when I had made my decision…  
"DO IT!" I roared… tears erupting from my eyes. It wasn't tears of sorrow…; it was tears of pure, undiluted anger… angry towards the Veidt, towards all unfairness and corruptions and injustice and humanities… and…  
**ZAP!**

The glowing blue light from Osterman's fingertips had burst out like a flash bang… blinding me… I had to close my teary eyes when the blue light seemed to engulf me… making me felt powerless…  
"…Powerless?" I breathed my last word… before my whole body felt nothing but pain unimaginable as my atoms disintegrated… killing me…

But it only killed me physically… it wasn't Dr Manhattan who killed me; it was my powerlessness which killed me… inside out… and that's why I had been angry…had been sad all this time… Angry towards myself…

_Goodbye, O Cruel World…  
_

Now.

"Uncle! Do you know what that pillar of light means?" Prince Zuko asked, staring at brilliant baby blue light coming from the snowy land of the Southern Pole.  
"Means that I can't finish my jasmine tea?" His Uncle, General Iroh, answered dreamily… he was sipping his tea and playing a Pai Sho with one of the soldier at the same time.  
"It MEANS that years of searching the Avatar is finally over… Quickly, we have to head to that light! Only an immense amount of power of the Avatar can produce that! Oh, no! It's disappeared! Quickly, men… we gotta…"

"Zuko, Zuko, please, calm down… it might just be a normal, artificial light… like that Bat-Signal. (Iroh stared at you and 'wink, wink') We've been through this before; I don't want you to get too over-excited in vain… my Grandma used to say: Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment." Iroh had made his long, pious babble that would only stop if Zuko interjected with wry remarks such as:  
"And _my Uncle_ used to say: Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." Zuko coughed, and Iroh's expression was between exasperation and proud (_'So he DOES listen to me'_, Iroh pondered.)

"Crew! Head to that…"

But Prince Zuko stopped when he saw ANOTHER light… but unlike the first light… which came out of the white, snowy land, this light came from the sea… and it was ominous, dark blue and Omni directional.  
Zuko turned his head to look at his Uncle for any advice… even levity was welcomed. But when he saw the second light, Iroh looked serious; Zuko didn't know whether it was good news or a bad one. "Zuko, you, along with the crew, head towards the column of light and keep your eye out for the Avatar. I'll head towards this blue light." Iroh said… it was not an order… but the crew knew better not to argue with the Dragon of the West… as they had no right to do so.  
Well, except the Prince…  
"Uncle, what's wrong? A moment ago you're slacking like usual, now you go all commando on us… Do you know something about that flash of light?"

"No, I do not." Iroh answered sincerely.  
"Oookay… so you do NOT know…"  
"And that is why I have to find out."  
"But… why that light? Why not the first one?? Are you hiding something from me?" Zuko pressed, crossing his hands, eyeing his uncle suspiciously.  
"My nephew, when you go into battle, there are three elements to planning out the engagement."  
"We are in a BATTLE?!"  
"Don't take my words too literally… anyway, as I was saying, three elements (not that elements _elements)_ to plan out battle engagement. One, you have to be sure you know what you know… that would be your mastery in fire-bending, your enemies and so on and so forth. Two, you have to know what you don't know. This second element is of course what you're going to find out at that land, Zuko."  
"Right… CREW! HEAD TO THE LAND!"  
When the ship is nearing to that land, Iroh is taking a small boat… heading to the now-dimming-blue-light…  
"Uncle, you haven't told me what the third element of the engagement is." Zuko asked Iroh before he took off.  
Silent… and then Iroh answered slowly.

"There are always things that you left out of the equation… things that are NOT supposed to be in the battle but in it nonetheless. Things that you **don't** _**know**__ that you don't know_. AND those are the things that can get you killed in the war… This is the third part… and my instinct told me I'm heading towards it…"

Interlude.

Black. I couldn't see anything. Petrified… literally… but not because my body could not move… but because I have NO body whatsoever. Only conscience.

Timelessness. Nothingness. No… not nothingness per se. There is something…: Pain. Sensation of pain throughout the whole body (which is weird because we have established that I have no body) that was unbearable and excruciatingly hellish I thought I was in Hell.  
Oh, wait a minute, that's right; I was killed by naked blue man.  
_I AM in Hell.  
_The pain was so bad that even mute people would squeal… How did you describe the pain… like all the pain you suffered your life… multiplied it by the power of… oh what the heck… It's painful, that's the bottom-line. I would have screamed in agony… if I have a mouth and a vocal cord.  
No sense of time (I have established that too)… drifting like a ghost, resigned my fate. Had it been a day, a week, a month, a year, a century, a millennium… ETERNITY?! I couldn't tell…

All I could tell was I was in unimaginable torment searing pain… blinding light…  
Wait a second… Blinding light?!

Suddenly, I felt something else… besides pain… in fact, the pain now was gone!

I felt… I felt… wet?! My whole body seemed to be swept away by a strong wave… I was at the sea's surface… I could tell as my tongue could taste the heavily salty of the sea-water… but I welcomed the displeasure… any sensation was welcomed after the eternal pain!  
But another sensation crept in: freezing sensation… My first guess was that somehow I was blasted off by Doctor Manhattan's attack and drowned at the nearby sea… I would be frozen if I didn't swim back to the shore! But it would be no easy feat as my whole body felt numb and my trench coat and thick clothing made my body even harder to be moved… I tried to look around, savouring the taste of the neck, hearing and sight… and to my dismay, no land could be seen… but suddenly I caught a glimpse of a boat coming towards me… I raised my hands and gave the crew a signal…

Now

"Rub your chest, son, your hands will take care of themselves; or else you might get hyperthermia," the chubby old man told me; I was rubbing my arms, trying to control my shivers after I had taken off most off my clothing, saved my pants, of course. After his advice, I started rubbing my torso… he was right, I was feeling better already.  
"Hypothermia, by the way." I grunted.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"You said hyperthermia… that's for heat stroke… hypothermia is the right term,"

"Smarter than you look," he chuckled.

"What's that about my look, old man?!" I snarled… I tried to grab his… armour (his clothing looked ridiculous)… "You looked SO outdated as if you're from the Era of Qin Shi Huang himself,"  
A silent for a minute, then he said, "If that was meant to be a comeback, you did it very… _quaintly_. Speaking about fashion, your clothing looks, well, eccentric... I, uh… Oh, I'll be damned! Forgive me, son, I could have warmed you by a fire-bending… how foolish of me. I was so awed by your… eccentricity… I forgot about simplest thing." _FYI, I have no slightest idea what the hell he was babbling about._

Before I wanted to ask him further questions, I was thunder-struck by what he was doing next: his hand was emitting flame! "There, feeling better?" he smiled.  
Before I could reply, I heard a monstrous roar from behind me. "Dear Firelords! Could it be…?! A living Sky Bison!" the old man exclaimed in wonder. I turned and my eyes widened…

A white-furred, black-horned, six-armed, big ugly creature (that resembles one the Wild Things in that movie Where the Wild Things Are…) just flew right across us.

"Quickly, we must go towards it!" Iroh said.

"Are you out of your mind?! Why should we?!"

"Sky Bison's rider can only be one person: the Last Airbender… the Avatar!"

…

"The what, what, WHAT??!!"

_Jonny, buddy, where the hell did you resurrect me, you blue, naked sonofabitch?!_

To be continued.


	2. Boulevard of Broken Dreams Part 02

**Disclaimer(s):**_Watchmen_and_Avatar: the Legend of Aang_belonged to their own respective authors … they do not belong to me…. But this story's ideas belong to me and ME! 

**Author's Note:** This chapter would have more than Rorschach's point of view… and, I made many other references from television series. )

…**I walk a lonely road;**

**The only one that I have ever known.**

**Don't know where it goes**

**But it's home to me and I walk alone…**

_Jonny, buddy, where the hell have you sent me, you blue, naked sonofabitch??!!_

I knew then that I was definitely NOT in Antarctica… in fact, I doubted that I was in Earth… my Earth, at least… why?!  
Firstly, the people dressed like… Japanese cosplayers of samurais or sorts… which was comical as they looked Caucasians to me (most of them).

Secondly, their leader… a plump, old man was actually not just a mere chump like the others as he was a real deal… not a pretender; he could produce fire from his palm… some kind of pyrokinesis… _Why doesn't anybody from the government find out about him already? Are they that dumb? Or does this old man that discreet?  
_And lastly (and oh, the most obvious!) a FLYING MONSTER! A big, hairy flying polar bear just flew above me, causing me questioning myself whether I had truly died and I was actually in a sick, twisted kind of hell…  
"_Hurm_… If this is Hell, the Devil must really have a sense of humour…" I cursed softly.  
"Pardon?" The old man (his name is Iroh, he told me) asked. "Nothing." I answered reflexively.  
I looked around, realising that my vision was blurry. _Maybe all of this was just a dream… Dreams are incoherent and blurred in sight; maybe all of this was just a pigment of my imagination… Well, one way to find out._ I rubbed my eyes and it only made it worse…  
While I covered my eyes and buried my head with my fedora hat… trying to suffocate myself so that I would 'wake up', the _Fat-Man_ (Iroh's super-hero name, dubbed by me… Heh!) ordered his men to go after the so-called-Flying-Bison as "It will lead us to the Avatar."

Again, I heard that word: Avatar.

These people were sort of having a goal that involved in hunting down somebody… or even some_thing_. I wanted to ask them who or what this Avatar was and whether he/she/it was good or evil… but then I just kept silent as the question would make me look stupid; besides, if I asked them whether the Avatar was either good or evil, they would DEFINITELY say he was evil as they were hunting him down; I did not want a one-sided point of view… SO I just waited and see for myself the exact situation…  
For all it's worth… I did not trust these people. I was literally alone in this one.  
…

No.  
I was always alone.  
Dreiberg might have been a friend… a good friend; but it was all over when he chose to compromise himself…  
He wasn't even there to try to go to stop me… to see me one last time… hence my lonely death… (Author's Note: Nite-Owl did see him one last time in the movie, though; in the comic, he was busy fucking Silk Spectre… impotent, my S.)

I didn't realise that Fat-Man was looking at me intently. "It seems that you have a lot of thoughts in your mind, my friend; care to share with me?"  
"You…" I too looked at him, but with defiant look. "…'Re asking way too many questions…" He might be able to turn me into ashes just like good, ole Manhattan ('_Good' _seems to be the wrong choice of word to describe him here…) But I also wasn't going to make _that_ become an excuse for him to feel superior and keep annoying me by interrogating me with sweet-talking… "And one more thing: We. Are. Not. Friends."

Instead of getting offended, he was getting infuriatingly friendlier _(maybe he was losing what's left of his (dim-witted) mind to the 20__th__ Century Deadline…)_

"Well, my Grandmother used to say... (お母ちゃんが言っていた/ _Obaachan ga Itteita_)*: Coming together is the beginning; keeping together is progress… Working together is success."

…

"_What's your point?"_ That's what I was about to say, but instead I uttered the very first thing Stewie Griffith would say, "I am already bored and confused…"

Fat-Man laughed out loud, "You and my nephew will get along very well!"

Before our awkward conversation continued, a moderately sized bird, dark red and brown feathers all over its body and two long plumes falling from its tail flew towards us, squawking wildly. "A messenger's hawk!" one of the crew informed us; the bird landed on the Fat-Man's left forearm… one of its white leg was tied with a small roll of parchment… more like a ribbon… he took it read the… Chinese handwritings? … Strangely, he seemed to mumble the word with English…  
"Y'know, if you wanna communicate indirectly, you can just use a telephone…"  
"What's a telephone?" He asked curiously.

"Never mind…"

After reading it a few more times, he turned to his men and said loudly, "Crew, turn around; return to the ship! The Avatar has been successfully captured."  
"YEEEAAHHHH!" The whole soldiers threw out their ludicrous-looking pointy helmets and cheered. "Boys will be boys." Fat-Man shook his head. The old guy didn't seem to share everybody's enthusiasm. I wondered why…

_**Meanwhile**_

(**Author's Note:** From this point on, it is **Aang**'s point of view… he's a Deadpool/ Spider-Man… so… if my story became more and more…lamer, you may walk away now… Don't tell me I didn't tell you so.)

This frivolous staff should be a souvenir for my Princess Yue," Prince Zuko… the jaded, independent and/but pompous jerk said delightedly while retrieving (STEALING!) my wind-glider. "Take him to the dungeon, troops."  
Perfect! The scarred-face Prince clearly underrated me, ordering only two fire-benders to take me to the brig's jail… (My hands might be tied… but not my legs… to completely subdue me, you have to incarcerate all my limbs, Doofus.) A hundred year clearly had passed as these educated pros did not know how to handle an Air-bender (even an amateur one). Well, time for _Air-ducation_!  
"So, I bet you guys NEVER have dealt with Air-benders before, huh?" I started the conversation casually, like trying to make friends.  
"We are forbidden to share that classified information to our captives." The two guards said in unison.  
"AT-CHOO!"  
After knocking down the guards with my… erm… What's that move called? Super-Sneeze! (Nah… too simple) Blasting Zone! (Nope, already taken by Squall Leonheart)… Schizo-Sneezo! (Yeah! That's it!)

Anyhoo, after knocking down the guards with my self-created move called Schizo-Sneeze, my first thought was to regain my glider fast. So, I ran fast… running anywhere & nowhere around the dark, narrow corridor of the ship, without realising that had I used my Air-Bending to hasten my running speed tenfold. The whole place seemed to be played in fast-forward! When the fire-benders blocked my pathway… shouting incoherently, "STOP…" I just ran onto the wall and all the way across the top of the ceiling (If you can't visualise this, just watch the cartoon,) passing the baffled guards, "… RIGHT THE… where has he gone to?!" While I yelled to anybody and/or nobody…  
"_EXCUSE ME DO YOU KNOW WHERE IS MY GLIDER OH NEVER MIND I'LL LOOK FOR IT MYSELF_…"

Finally, after scouring through the ships I'd arrived to the last, untouched room. "Yes!" There the glider was, being put grandly besides broadswords and an eerie blue-ghost-mask.  
I was about to grab it and caressed it, when the door behind was slammed closed, startling me… by none other than the "SAY-HELLO-TO-MY-LITTLE-FRIEND!" Scar-Face Zuko.

"Looks like I've underestimated you, kid." he made an attacking stance; the room's candles were bursting out into torches… as if it was audience… giving moral support to Zuko.

**BLAM!**

Without warning, a fireball was blazed out from his right knuckle, sounding like a gunshot, heading towards my face; **BLAM! BANG! BWAM! **Three more rocket launcher-like fire-bendings were coming towards me, just when I managed to dodge the first one… only to realise that he had been 'passing' me basketballs of flame continuously!  
No time to evade… wasn't alert, calm, cool and collected enough to react… so I welcomed the infernal visitors by my defensive Air-Bending hospitality… _FWOOOOSH_… Just when I successfully curbed the fires… the ever-menacing Prince was giving me his 'birthday' present: lightning bending! However… instead of the sound of thunder _KRA-KA-THOOM…_

_**KRA…KA-CHAK -BOOM!!!**_ _(The sound was like recoiling of a gun and then firing of a gun…)_

Instead of a sleek blue lining of deadly lightning, the vain Princeling's fingertip was exploding! A botched lightning-bending. I would giggle at him… if the explosion didn't knock me down as well to the ground… ("RGGGH! Why can't I do it?!" the exasperated Prince growled.)

Grabbing my glider, I charged towards the exit-door, planning to get out… ignoring the groaning Prince… Fortunately, Zuko didn't have time to yell, "Stop right there!" as I used my air-bending to run as Flash as possible (Fastest man/boy alive, baby!) After seeing the clear, blue sky again… (Made it outside the ship) I sprouted the orange wings of my glider and try to fly off the dreaded ship (WOO-HOO! SO LONG, SUCKERS!)  
Escaping the wrath of the Fire-Nation Navy? Check.  
Escaping Zuko? Not check.  
Zuko managed to clutch my feet… causing me to lose my balance and control of the flight… endangered the both of us to fall from a frighteningly high… height…  
OOKAY… Time to panic, "_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!_" Zuko and I yelled in unison… falsetto and baritone in perfect harmony.

_**To Be Continued.**_

_Next Chapter's Preview…  
_

"I thought you said your nephew had captured the **Akator***?" (* **Akator** is another name for El Dorado… I think; watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.)

"It's A-VA-TAR… and yes, my nephew had captured the Avatar… in the past that was. Now, it was apparently the other way round."  
"Well, that's just swell; my condolences, bub."

*Author's Note: my Grandmother used to say... (お母ちゃんが言っていた/ _Obaachan ga Itteita_) is 天道 総司_Tendō Sōji's favourite catchphrase… (Watch Kamen Rider Kabuto); In my opinion, Kabuto was the third best Kamen Rider series, followed by Ryuuki and Kuuga. _


	3. Boulevard of Broken Dreams Part 03

**Quotations of the Day: **

'**Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel.'**

'**We do not want a perfect yesterday; we want a better tomorrow.'**

**Warning:** I'm a kind of a guy who just goes with the flow… who does things on the spur of the moments. Meaning that if fresh, clear idea and no more blocks in my head hindering me from continuing writing… I simply write the next chapter… So, I just want to warn you all that I do not know how this story will end (SERIOUSLY, NO KIDDING)  
… Exciting, isn't it?

_**I walk this empty street**_

_**On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams**_

_**Where the city sleeps**_

_**And I'm the only one as I walk alone**_

We fell towards the blue, welcoming ocean (aww, ain't that nice?!) which I bet would be deadly freezing and _who-knows-what-sort-of-man-eating-fishes_ were waiting for our dramatic fall… as if a buffet from God Almighty Himself…  
**SPLASH! **The bone-chilling sensation of the cold was WAY overwhelmed by the excruciating pain throughout my whole body… _'I think I broke my ribs… well, that's just swell…'_

Trying to swim upwards to the surface… forgetting about the Damnable Avatar… But then I turned around painstakingly to take a look around the dark surrounding whether the bald boy was there… I mean, what was the point of living if I didn't fulfil my destiny and regain my honour, right? _(__**Author's Note:**__ Everybody else would argue with that extreme, ridiculous thinking…) _  
There! I saw him, glowing a baby blue light… wait a minute… _glowing?!_  
My bewilderment turned into amazement as the boy was now (absolutely) emitting a blinding, otherworldly radiant light. To my relief, the light was just a mere lightshow… it was not harmful… that was what I thought initially… until suddenly it sent enormous ripples towards the surroundings of the ocean… huge vibration… then, a tremor… then…  
**BWOOSH!!!**  
2 things I felt simultaneously: ecstasy and terror. Ecstasy as I could ultimately breathe an air again… but why? Ah… good question. That led us to Terror. Terror as… well… I was helplessly blown towards the sky by a gigantic, rising billows by the Avatar.  
'Well, look on the bright side: at least you would not be killed by filthy peasants and/or dirty Earth beggars…'

…

(TOMORROW)  
(GIVE OR TAKE 32 HOURS 17 MINUTES LATER…)

"I thought you said your nephew had captured the Akator?" I grunted… I tried not to be involved in their fights… but hey, if I really will spend the rest of my life here, I will have to socialise… and today's topic of the conversation (make it everyday's topic) was Avatar.  
"For the _14__th__ time_ (and _yes,_ I count) it's Uh-Va-Tarr… not Akator. My nephew _had_ captured him… Unfortunately the _captive _became the _captor_… presumably." The Fat-Man explained darkly.  
"Hurm…" I had to say something to him… try to console him, at the very least. "My condolences, Fat… I mean, Fred."  
"My name is Iroh,"  
"Huuhh… yeah, that's what I just said: Aye-Row."  
"No, you said Fur- Red…"

"ANYWAY!" I said loudly, tired of our comical argument. "What's your plan now, Iron-Man?"  
(I spelled Iron-Man Aye-**Ron**-Man instead of /ˈаɪ.ərn/ Man.)  
"The plan is _(Hey, nice nickname you just gave me!__)_ We'll just rescue my nephew, recapture the Avatar and take down whoever stands in our way."  
There was a murmur of approval from the henchmen. _What a bunch of simpletons_, I snorted  
"Yeah, yeah… it's plain and simple; easy to remember. Everybody's happy. Yee-Haw… but how… HOW are you gonna do that, wise guy?"*****

***(Author's Note: Is it just me or I wrote Rorschach a little bit outta character?)**

"Easy: I just used my innate ability." Then, Iron-Man (Iroh's new super-hero name.) sat on the floor and started meditating like a monk… I wanted to say something, but stopped when his eyes glowed blue… surprising me and (let's be honest) scaring me… That blue glow reminded me of _him_… (No prize for guessing correctly who _him_ was.) After finishing his creepy shtick… Iron-Man stood and told the crew, "Men! Head the ship towards the North! The Avatar is heading to the North Pole." There was an atmosphere of anxiety around the men, and they wanted to argue… but they did as they told. After the crews were back in their stations, I approached Iron-Man whose-sanity-was-questionable what in the blue blazes was he doing; and he answered, "Assuming,"  
"You just… assume? Isn't that too… you know…?"  
"Kaizen*… investigation is based on assumption; if you were wrong, you just apologised."  
*(Rorschach told (and would tell) the Avatar characters that his name is Kaizen… Japanese for "improvement" or "change for the better")

…

"Peasant! Tell me where I am!"  
I 'asked' a woman… a water tribe woman who oddly bear an uncanny resemblance with that girl from the South Pole (again, no prize for guessing correctly who) despite being twice her age.*

*(This is Katara's deceased mother: Kya.)  
"Guess, young man."**(A.N.: I'm using that 'guess' word too many times)**  
"Well, last thing I remembered I was… SON OF A SUN! I was drowned! My ribs were broken… I fell with that wretched Avatar into the ocean… I was blacking out… about to die peacefully and painlessly (fortunately) but then I was saved (unfortunately)… by the one whom I swore to hunt down for the rest of my life… Or was I killed by him? Can't tell… And that was that… here I am…. Oh no… did I say all of that… ALL of that out LOUD?!"  
"Sure did." The woman chuckled.

…  
I looked around… then a dreadful thought swam through my head: "Am I dead?" I said my thought out loud (again).

"Why do you ask that?"

"Well…" My ribs were supposed to be broken, but the pain wasn't there now… it was if it wasn't broken at all… And I was supposed to be in the South Pole… now I was in the God-Knows-Where! Everywhere I looked was an eerie place, inhabited by a wide variety of freaky creatures. But the most eye-catching was a large, gnarled tree with roots that extended into the sky, rather than the ground. **(A.N.: Beneath this tree is Koh's lair.)****  
**"Just… answer the question, lady; Am. I. Dead?" I couldn't hide a quiver of fear in my voice.  
"No." I sighed in relief  
"And Yes." I groaned in despair. "DAMMIT, LADY, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"

She now stared at me with eyes filled with inexplicable emotions, shutting me up… she might look like a peasant… but now she looked like my mother!

**(A.N.: Who wants to snap at your mom… unless you are shameless f*****s and/or n*****s… and I've met two or three.) **  
"Question: What state are you in when you are (n)either alive (n)or dead?"

"What on Earth are you… oh… OH!" a realisation sank in… remembering that song…

Outside the rain's fallin' down

There's not a drop that hits me

Scream at the sky but no sound

Is leavin' my lips

It's like I can't even feel

After the way you touched me

**I'm not asleep but I'm not awake**

After the way you loved me

"I'm sleeping?!"  
"You're dreaming…" _('What's the difference, woman?!')_

_"Schrödinger said: put a cat inside a black box and leave it there for ages without supplies of food or air… the only way you'll find out whether it's alive or dead is to open the air-tight box… but the exact moment when the cat was inside the box… mad scientist theorised that the cat was dead AND alive... OR the cat was in the state where it was NEITHER dead NOR alive."_

**(A.N.: I FLUNKED my physics… SO do NOT learn from what I just wrote!)**

"So… which state am I… Am I DEAD AND ALIVE… or NEITHER DEAD NOR ALIVE?"

Kya smiled wickedly, "You… are the cat."  
Without a warning… the know-it-all lady (the trait that reminded me of that boomerang boy) just disappeared without a trace right after I just blinked eyes… leaving me behind in this unholy godforsaken nowhere…  
"Okay… now what?"

…

Meanwhile, in the other corner of the spirit world, Aang encountered the 999th Avatar…

"Okay, now what?" I asked もう一人の僕 (mō hitori no boku)

"_You will have to (re)start your training… all the 4 elements…"_

"Actually 3 elements… I have mastered the Air… hence the tattoo"

"_Will you stop interrupting me?"_

"Bite me,"

You see, there were 32 things that I really loved doing to adults, even to myself/ Roku: One, interrupting their self-important lectures.

"_Anyway… afterwards, you will master the Avatar State,"_

"How?"

"_I dunno… you tell me, you're the smart one."  
_"Hurm!"  
_"After defeating the Firelord… you have to stop the…"_  
"Wait, wait, WAIT… there's MORE?!"

"_Will you STOP interrupting me?!?!"_

…

I did not know how long I'd been wondering in this wretched dilapidated place… I didn't give a damn about the time… but I gave a damn about the fact that I seemed to just go around and round and round and…  
"GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"Tee-hee-hee!" a tickled giggle was heard at the back of my ear, surprising me…; I turned around… but nobody was there except a blue firefly… I followed it which led me to a forest… I tried to enter make a path by fire-bending as It was blocked by bushes and sorts… but no fire would come out… so I had no choice but to use my broad-swords and cut through the…  
Waitaminnit…

"I can't firebend?"  
I punched and jabbed to generate fireballs… but nothing came out… not even a smoke…  
"I can't firebend."  
_Huh._

…

"I CAN'T FIREBEND?!?!" I shrieked (in falsetto High F) filled with intense terror, covering my mouth like a girl…  
Fire-bending was the only thing in the world which branded me worthy as a human being; without it I'm worse than a fag!

"…"

"_Go! Away! From. The. Spirit. World."  
_A stern voice made me snap back to Earth; I turned around to see where the sound came from: again, nobody was there except a sitting white baboon  
"Who's there?" I pointed my broad-swords forward defensively; I must not let them think I was a coward.  
"You are deaf." The baboon scoffed. I screamed in high F again. There goes my honour.

_**To Be Continued.  
**_


	4. Boulevard of Broken Dreams Part 04

**Quotation of the Day:**  
'**Easy it is to judge the mistakes made by the others; difficult it is to recognize (Y) OUR own mistakes.'**  
_… Bottom line is: REVIEW AND/OR CRITICIZE my STORY, PUH-LEASE! __ Am I just writing this s*** for myself? Because that's just sad. :(_

**My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone**

**(Roku**: Previously on _Avatar_… Uh… I mean _Walter in Wonderland_…:  
**Zuko:** (hysterically) O-My-God-I-Can't-Firebend-O-My-God-I-can't-firebend-Ohmigod -Ohmigod -Ohmigod!!! (Keep OMG-ing/ OMFG-ing until…)  
**Enma (the baboon spirit):** Go! Away.**)**

NOW:  
I flinched… watching the monkey version of that Bald Avatar sitting on the top of the huge boulder… meditating! ("Ohm…")  
"Dear FireLords!" It was a miracle that I hadn't lost my sanity like Zulie after experiencing this outlandish, otherworldly experience.  
"Shush!" It/he shushed me, peeping me and then back with his/its meditation, closing his/its eyes firmly.  
Ignoring his plea, I ask him, "Can you tell me where the freak I am… (You freak)?!"  
"You are still here?" he opened his eyes, looking at me again… surprised at my defiance.  
"Look, Donkey Kong! I'll ask you again, where am I?"  
"Ask Kunang-Kunang.*" He pointed his long, bony finger at an eerily huge firefly (the size of a golf ball.)  
***Author's Note: Kunang-Kunang is Indonesian for firefly… just like Bumi is Indonesian for Earth.) **  
"Hah-hah-and Hah. Good joke, really. No, seriously, can you tell me…?"  
"Do I look like I'm joking, Tony Montana?" Enma said, after looking at my Scarface. (Geddit?)  
After I stared at the butterfly which was flying away, Enma shooed me to go catch it. If I could firebend, I would bend his a** right here right now! I followed it nonetheless; I mean, a babbling, bickering, blundering baboon just talked to me, why wouldn't a firefly start to babble and bicker with me? But before I walked away, I pointed my broad-sword at Enma like an accusing finger, "You F***ing with me, you F***ing with the best. Find out the firefly can't talk… I'll fire-******* you." Then I turned around and walked away… GODDAMMIT, I was so cool!  
"Sucker." Enma snorted gleefully when I had gone. It took me about 5 minutes after encounter with the irritable talking baboon that I was in Spirit world… "Talking Animals… No Bending… Dee-You-Age: DUH!" I berated myself for not figuring it out sooner. That meant I was alive! Gonna kill that Water peasant for scaring the hell outta me.  
As I said… 5 minutes after joy of finding out the truth… 5 more minutes to try to catch the firefly (look at me, first I tried to catch him, now I tried to catch it!? I had stooped too low!)  
5 hours to succeed in capturing it… (No… I didn't exaggerate… Or did I?)  
After grabbing it (careful not to grab it too tightly so not to squash it) I made a very, VERY small gap in my grasp for it to breathe air… Finally, as silly as I looked, I talked to it in Hiro Nakamura style, "Firefly-man… hi. I was about to ask you where I am but now I know where I am so I will ask you my next question: How do I go back home?"  
"Ask… Koh…" a pleasant tenor voice whispered from it… then it squeezed out from my grasp… flew away but thank God it stopped right in front of my eyes… staring at me. Now that I got a clear look at the puny spirit, I realised that it was not insectoid in shape but humanoid… It was like… do you know Stingmon from that anime Digimon? Yep, it looked just like it, only small and shining blue. (Always thought he looked very cool.)

**Author's Note: How on Earth does Zuko (or any Avatar characters, for that matter) know about anime worlds or Scarface?!?!**

"Ask… Koh…" he said again.  
"Who's Koe?"  
"The Face-Stealer." "The What-What?"  
Now I think I understand what Zulie meant by: The more you ask, the less you know.  
Then, the firefly explained, "Koh is… one of the oldest spirits… who ever roams this realm. It is obsessed… with collecting… souls."  
"Souls? I thought you said face?"  
"Without face, you have no identity… without identity… you have no… soul. Your face… is your…"  
"…Soul got it." I nodded.  
_All this time, since antiquities, mankind had asked themselves what does a soul look like; and here I am… finding out that it was just RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!! Life is full of f***ing irony, huh?  
_"A warning: if you intend to… meet Koh… you have to be extremely careful. Do not… DO NOT… show any emotions or it will steal your… face."  
"I don't under… Ah…" Clarity blossomed. "Hence, his laughable nickname," I snorted sarcastically.  
_"Damn. Straight."_ A spirit hissed.  
But it is not the friendly firefly.  
I turned around to face my adversary, only to find out that the whole surrounding had changed. I was standing in a dark, damp cave. But the eeriest thing was a face in front of me… a pale, white woman… with a voice of a man… staring at me with an even eerier hunger. But the most frightening of all: His (her?) body was a large centipede.  
"Let me guess," I said casually… _Show no emotion, show no emotion, show no emotion…  
_"Khoa the Face-Stealer."  
_"Koh."_ He/she corrected.  
"Eldest one, he is all yours." The blue firefly then flew away. _The treacherous turncoat!! _  
_"Vain Princeling… O, Vain Princeling…" _he recited melodramatically. Then, suddenly, he shape-faced into a teenager's face_ (nifty.). "How may I help you, Son of Ozai?"_  
"Just one question… How do I get back to the mortal world?"  
_"O… O my dear boy, __**is that all **__your purpose of coming here… risking your identity… literally identity for me to steal?"_ His voice sounded genuinely concern.  
"Er… let me think about it…UUUHHH… you bet your face, **that is all."  
**_"I admired your recklessness…."_ he chuckled. _"Who was the one who sent you here?"  
_"Huh? Oh, I think it was the Avatar?" Show no emotion, you dummy.  
_"Avatar? You mean THE Avatar??"_ Koh now seemed interested in listening to me instead of himself.  
"Uh-huh…"  
_"Interesting…" Then_, he encircled his centipede body around me… creepy. _"It seems, my young friend, you will stay here a bit longer than we both have anticipated; you may show emotion, you have my permission… please, regale me"  
_"Okay, but first, let me…" Then I turned around and let it all out  
"AAAIIIIEEEEE!!!! GIANT CENTIPEDE!!!! AIIIEEEEE!!!!!" Then, I vomited.  
_("Amusing young man."_ Koh remarked. _"I wonder why his father exiled him instead of his retarded sister."_) [_Trust me_, Zuko replied, _I've been asking that all my life._]

**To Be Continued.**_**  
Author's Note: Apologies for a short chapter; the next upcoming chapters will be more about Zuko's journey in the Spirit World… as I dunno just WHAT TO DO with the titular hero.**_


	5. Rorschach Journal 01

_**Song of the Century.**_

Sing us a song of the century  
That's louder than bombs and eternity  
The era of static and contraband  
Leading us into the Promised Land

Tell us a story that's by candlelight  
Waging a war and losing the fight

They're playing the song of the century  
Panic and promise and prosperity  
Tell me a story into that good night  
Sing us a song for me

Rorschach Journal (Time & Place: Unknown…)

It had been going on for years… their war…  
War between the nobles and the commoners…  
**…  
(AN: Sorry, wrong cartoon. 'Thinking about Romeo x Juliet')  
…**

A war between Water and Fire. Only that these 'Water' and 'Fire' are people… not elements. People with paranormal shticks… People… no; freaks just like Osterman. Thank God they do not look as freakish as him.  
The Fatso-Iroh told me that it was HIS people, the Fire, who started it all… the one who's to blame… Well, at least he's being honest. I like honesty.  
History said that the King of the Fire… called 'Fire-Lord'… at the time it was Sozin's tenure… decided to do something unprecedented… something HUGE that would shake the very foundation of the 4 nations' peace (if such thing existed)…  
He wanted to expand his Fire Empire (Hey that rhymes!).  
At the expense of others…  
So, what did the other 3 nations do, hearing his ego? Nothing. Zero. Na-da. They were relying idly on their Avatar Idol Roku to intervene. Okay, that worked temporarily.  
Unfortunately, Roku was Sozin's BFF. So, cliché, he let him go. And, cliché, Sozin was an SOB he didn't give any s*** whether his friend was the oh-my-God-it-is-the-Avatar and that he had spared his life… he continued his invasion, let Roku died and eradicated the Air, one of the 4 elements.  
I dunno about you… but is the irony funny or what?

So, I guess there really was no such thing as a happy ending, huh?  
O WAIT! I forgot to tell you; the Avatar had been reborn… as ludicrous as it sounds. And we… me and the Fire are hunting him down… as I was writing this down…  
It's good to be bad, isn't it?  
Don't get me wrong, I'm here just to 'socialise'; I don't want to be involved with their stupid war and their stupid fashions and their stupid… Stupids.  
I don't care whether their whole world was burnt…

I don't care.

I don't.

What I DO care is to find out HOW TO GET HOME.

And this… this Avatar seemed to know how (as the dumb-**** Iroh clearly do not how)  
and after I kissed this world goodbye…

…

Well…

….

End of Journal.


	6. Basket Case

"_**Training… Training… My Least Favourite Part of Cliché Fantasy Story"**_

_Rorschach's Journal/ Kaizen's Scroll Chapter 1:_

In the world where firearms: guns, bullets, handgrenades, bazookas, blah-blah-blah do NOT exist… In the world where the weapons used by the doofuses are swords, spears, bows/arrows and (yeah, believe it) shields (I know right? Lame.) WHAT WOULD ONE SUCH AS I **SUPPOSE TO DO** INSTEAD OF WHINING AND WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY FOR THE ABSENCE OF MAGNIFICENT MASTERPIECE?

"2 Words: Adapt & Practice." Rorschach growled in Walter's mind.

(ARRRGGGHHH!) I (Walter) groaned loudly.

…

"So let me get this straight," The Fat-Man Iroh buried his face with his burly hand, apparently lost of words about what I just told him… about my 'situation'. "You never ever carried weapons before?"  
"Uh-Huh." I shrugged affably; ignoring Fat-Man's sighing and slapped his forehead. There was a burst of mocking laughter from the crew, which the Fat-Man ignored. But that… THAT I COULDN"T ignore… F*** it! I wouldn't ignore it! "Ha-ha-ha, yeah, very funny, you slave, servant punks." Then the guffaws stopped as sudden as they'd started; the crew glared at me, affronted, obviously pissed at me (_Good._ Rorschach in my mind sneered.) Then, Iroh waved his hand to his 'slaves/servants/whatevers' to disperse and back to their stations of the ship, calming the tense atmosphere. He continued, "Well, Kaizen, you have to improvise & practise ('typical' I snorted) how to use them properly. After all, that's your name; "improvement" or "change for the better", right?"

"Really? I just thought that name was cool, that's all." I shrugged again. (Again, The Fat-Man slapped his forehead.)  
"Anyhoo," I scratched my ginger hair & then grinned enthusiastically (almost as if possessed…) "When do we start?"  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-//-/-/--/-//-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-//-/-//-/-/-/-/-/-/--///-//-/--/-//-/-/-/-/-/-/--/

_Do you have the time__  
__to listen to me whine?__  
__About nothing and everything__  
__all at once?__  
__I am one of those__  
__Melodramatic fools__  
__Neurotic to the bone__  
__No doubt about it__  
_

My furtive over-eagerness swiftly faded away into blatant reluctant after just 1 day of hellish gruelling training. What suppose to be 'basic' felt like highly, impossibly advance set of crazy kungfu s***! A day filled with this over-taxing regimental training felt like a week, no… longer than that. Why I knew it was just a day? Coz the sun hadn't even f***ing set!  
I thought the Fat-Man was the only 'worthy' adversary here/ or at least in Adrian Veidt's fighting skill calibre… but Goddammit! Everyone seemed to be able to kick my sorry S. Fortunately, since I've practised some boxing (Holyfield be praised) and Krav Maga and Muay Thai and some few others, and though I didn't master every SINGLE ONE of them (Hey I ain't no Wolverine, 'kay?) at least I got the gist of them. So, that helped me 'survive' the training and I didn't forget what they taught me, despite their contradicting beliefs. That's the 'Fortunately'. The 'Unfortunately' was that it didn't mean I ain't get no beatings! From sparring using bo-staffs and some sort of eskrima sticks, my opponent/ 'servant' punk always able to take me down. What really ticked me off was that my instructor/ coach/ sensei/ shifu was not the best of the crews (the Fat-Man), but one of the scrawny lackeys! DAMN!  
And I thought I was a badass in my bid, bad world. Some Wonderland, I ended up, huh.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--//-/-/-//-/-/-/-/-/-//-/-//-/-//-/-/-/-/-//-/-/-/-/-//-/-/-/--//-/-/-/-//-/-/-//-/-/-/-//-//-/-/-/-/-//-/-/-/-//-/-/-/

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps__  
__Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me__  
__It all keeps adding up__  
__I think I'm cracking up__  
__Am I just paranoid?__  
__Uh, yuh, yuh, ya_

FROM THE JOURNALS OF THE DRAGON OF THE WEST.

I feel like… I do not know. Is this what it feels like? Yes, it must be. I feel like what my nephew must have felt when he has found the whereabouts of his so-called destiny and ultimately it/he was within his grasp (at least, for a while). So far, the scarlet-haired stranger who called himself Kaizen doesn't pose a threat to the Fire Nation… but it can be a façade. Or I'm just too paranoid. He is clearly not a bender… and he seems to suffer some kind of amnesia as he doesn't recognise the history and the fauna of the world. Poor fellow, he was seen by insensitive people as a Basket Case. But I knew from a first glance and our first conversation during the rescue… saving him from being drowned… that he was an intelligent, or at least a learnt man. Despite being a hot-head (like my nephew) in nature, he was level-headed and calm even when he was hurt or under extreme, pressure situation (like about to be drowned)… a sign that he has been nurtured as a warrior. Well, but his amnesia seemed to yet again hide his true potential as he proclaimed that he never carried swords and other weapons. However, after just a day of sparring with my soldiers, he has proven himself to be a capable combatant (although he doesn't believe so) as he's able to fight single-handedly against Lieutenant Jee for a long period of time before being taken down (no novice has been able to do that) If only he is a Fire-Bender, he will be a fearsome, deadly burner like my niece… I half-heartedly wished he's one; other half wished otherwise for fearing that should he ultimately reveal himself to be an enemy of the Nation, his bending might be our downfall… So why in the blue blazes am I still treating him as an honourable visitor instead of the enemy of the state? Because お母ちゃんが言っていた/ _Obaachan ga Itteita_: "Keep your friend close, but keep your enemy even closer… as the **best way** to _**destroy**_ an _**enemy**_ is to **make** him a **friend**."  
Sometimes I forgot my grandmother's teachings… her ancient wisdom is still working even in this modern and bleak present. _{A.N.: OMG, Iroh's grandma is ABE LINCOLN!}_

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-///-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/

_I went to a shrink__  
__To analyze my dreams__  
__She says it's lack of sex__  
__That's bringing me down__  
__I went to a whore__  
__He said my life's a bore__  
__So quit my whining cause__  
__It's bringing her down__  
_

"The stranger's as green as a girl,"  
"But he has a huge potential; a potential as fearsome as Piandao!"  
"Am I glad that red-head is on our side."

Listening to them softly and reluctantly praising me behind my back after a week of intense… well, intense really made my day. I guessed this was the mark of the start of good old Rorschach back in business… That is, if I survived the next, MORE intense regiments and if I could find that mysterious Avatar fellow. I thought I had gained everybody's trust, except one…

"A penny for your thought, Fat-Man?" I glanced at the plump wizened Gandalf one night when everyone didn't see us. I'd suspected that he suspected me of being suspicious. When he thought I didn't see him, he gave me this piercing stare as if by rudely staring at me from behind he could figure out something from me or whether there was some s*** at the back of my head. All the more reason I liked the Flintstone; his attitude towards suspicious stranger paralleled with mine.  
"Pardon?"  
"What? You don't have that phrase in your world: A penny for your thought?"  
…

"'_Your world?'_… Kaizen… **Who** are you? Where are you **from exactly**?" Finally, he asked the million dollar question.  
_Oh F***, I just can't shut up, can I?_

I sighed… All rotten secret shall be outed… after all, truth shall set you free, and so they always said. I told him everything that I've bottled up inside my head ever since I was 'energised' here by Osterman. "First of all, my real name is…" I was about say Walter Kovacs but I shrugged off that disdainful name and eventually said, "… Rorschach."  
"Roar-Shack?"

"Uh-Huh. I know it sounded strange at first…"  
"Demented…. More like that."

"Ha! Anyhoo, as for where was I from,"

(Sigh)

"Yes?"

"Take a seat and have a tea, Old Man, as unless I missed my guess, this night… you'll have a wild night." I grinned.

_Grasping to control_  
_so I better hold on_

To Be Continued.


End file.
